Musings

At the Paonia library today to make a few calls and post to my blog. Tonight will be my last night at Crawford State Park; plan to move to Montrose on Friday to resupply, do laundry, and reconnect with civilization:) Camping at Crawford SP without cell or Internet service has been good for me. I still feel a pang of guilt when I lounge around the Airstream but as time goes on, living without a schedule or agenda becomes more liberating.

Each day, I remind myself when I'm present and try to focus on the Now; it is a life-long journey. My ego unfortunately is always trying to get me to focus on the past or worry about the future. Focusing on the Now is helping me recognize how trivial many of the things I used to (and of sometimes still) think about truly are. Noise is a good example of what has been a major source of irritation and stress in my life.

Most people camping in RVs bring their dogs. These dogs frequently bark and this used to (still does at times) irritate me to the point of frustration. While I would prefer people trained or didn't bring their dogs to campgrounds, neither is likely, so there are really only 3 choices - accept it, ask the people to stop their dogs from barking, or remove myself from the barking environment. Accepting the situation is really the only viable choice and I'm working on being transparent so the barking noise can go through me without causing frustration or irritation.

Another source of noise is traffic. Most of the campgrounds (including state parks) I've visited are near roads. In addition to the typical large semi-trucks and vehicles without mufflers, the summer brings out many motorcycles; Harley Davidson motorcycles seem to be the loudest. I love silence, which is impossible to experience unless one remains in Wilderness areas; even there, the occasional airplane disrupts the silence. Unless one can remove oneself from the noise, it is best to focus on transparency, presence, and acceptance - easier said than done but nevertheless, my goal:)

I've worked so hard for too long to control my life and the environmental conditions (e.g., noise) around me; a stressful and impossible goal. Took me a long time but I'm finding is is much less stressful to accept and go with the flow:)