Reflection

In Livingston, MT for a couple of days. Lately, thinking and mediating a lot.  Do I want to settle down somewhere, if yes where? when? why? Or do I want to continue traveling; if yes, where? why? for how long? Am I seeking something and if so, how will I know when I find it?

On the one hand, I feel like I'm still trapped in my previous lifestyle, always chasing the next rush (e.g., mountain climbing, work achievement, etc.); I recognize this is an empty path. I still get the urge to pursue another expedition or adventure (e.g., long-distance trek in a foreign land) and maybe I will but then I find myself asking why? to what end? To feed a thrill-seeking addiction? Took me awhile but I realize now that the travel constraints imposed by my refrigerated medicine prescription are actually a good thing; otherwise, I might have already taken off for a foreign land on my next adventure. Actually, I'd probably be in India doing yoga and seeking enlightenment:)

Although I've seen many of them before, the places I've visited over the past 100+ days are all nice, but none make me long to settle down. Long-term, eternal domestic traveling, at least the way I've been doing it, seems unsustainable and empty. Maybe I'm doing it all wrong and should spend a month or longer in one place rather than these one, two, or three night-stands. This winter will be my opportunity to try the longer residence option.

I don't miss having a house but as I travel through the rural west seeing small towns, gardens, and agricultural operations I keep thinking back to my agricultural roots and experience a strong desire to reconnect with the land. I have fond memories of this past but they often leave me longing and prevent me from being present. Would buying a house in a small town where I could grow a garden and have chickens, bees, etc., satisfy me or would it just be another rush? One option I'd like to explore is just having multiple lots (without houses) where I could hookup my Airstream and stay for a season or two (e.g., a summer place in the north and winter place in the south).

None of this is meant to complain, far from it! I feel so fortunate for this lifestyle change and have no regrets. I'm just using this post to help me clarify my thoughts about the path I'm on.